love always, Madds



For the past year, I toyed with the idea of starting a blog. I absolutely despise journaling, and the only writing I do that does not somehow relate to school is poetry.

A few months ago, I received a call that changed my world. One of my best friends, Maddie unexpectedly passed away while studying abroad in Spain. This sent me into the most difficult and painful season of my life, as I have spent the past few months grieving such a sudden loss of someone I loved deeply. I have spent hours with friends, family, and her family crying, reflecting, sitting, sifting through photos, videos, journals, mementos, paintings, drawings, anything. I hold onto everything I have left of her because I know that the memories we made have become finite. It gave me comfort to read through her old notes… handwritten words in her unique jargon that somehow breathed life into a painful situation. One of the closing lines of a note she wrote to me read, “love always, Madds”. This line serves as a reminder of our bond and also as a command. She loved everyone she met and shared a love that was so full of joy and humility that it served to share her testimony. She truly radiated the love of Christ because He had filled her with His love and compassion. These words, in her handwriting, are now permanently¬†tattoed on my foot and remind me every day to love like she did.

You are probably wondering what the heck this has to do with a blog. Well, through this hard season, I have also realized the importance of writing. Journaling, blogging, whatever it may be, I decided to start this blog to share things that are happening in my life, but focus on the lessons that each experience brings. I am not a writer, and I am not an artist. These are probably fairly evident through my blog posts and the layout of this minimalist site. I did not create this to impress anyone or for class or to flaunt my wisdom (because you cannot flaunt what you, too are seeking to gain). I am simply a human being that wants a medium to share the things I learn along the way. This blog is for friends and family to see what’s been going on in my life. I have received a couple of amazing opportunities this coming year and would like to use this site for weekly updates.

I named this site “sporadic selah” for more than the appealing alliteration. The word “Selah” is a term found in the Bible, quite frequently in Psalms. Though the exact meaning of this word is unknown, many believe it was used as a musical direction or related to praise. Though there are many interpretations, the Amplified Bible translates the word “Selah” as “pause, and think of that”. Many other interpretations link the words “Selah” and “pause”. Along with difficult, this past season in my life has been busy. I juggled many trips home, grieving, a funeral, 18 units of schoolwork, 2 jobs, many job¬†applications and interviews, and so much more. This past semester went without many pauses, which was not helpful for my physical, emotional, and spiritual health. Pausing and resting is necessary for life. To reflect, to grow, and simply to enjoy some silence sometimes.

May this serve as a catalyst for a sporadic selah in your life. I know it already has for me. I pray you find some quiet in your day or your week for a sporadic selah. Thank you for your interest and investment in my life. I plan to post weekly or bi-weekly. Sometimes more, sometimes less. A sporadic selah.

This blog is dedicated to my best friend Maddie “Madds” Elliott. She taught me what love and joy look like, and what full reliance on the Lord truly is. She taught me what truly matters in life. Dance freely, my amaryllis.